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Truth be told, I've never considered myself much of a diner "regular". They've always been depressing venues of lost hopes and last stops to me. Always trying to be what they were not; a decent restaurant, a trusty stable for weary expresso's, a seasoned refuge for the overpressed and underworn. The coffee is good, but it's not great. The place is homey, but dilapidated, and unconcerned. The water's bad, but it's not awful . . . Americana Diner changed all that for me. Here is a place that stands up in the face of ridicule, and says, "Hold on tight, baby, it's gonna be a wild ride.". If i were to sum this place up in one sentence: The Americana Diner really tries. i mean it Really tries. You can see it in the menus, in the waitstaff, in the blueprints of the renovation plans posted in the stopgap.
The letterhead is Deco, the interior is wide and multi-faceted.- If there can be 'flow' in a single room building, this place has found it. The laminated ringbound menus will tell you stories about cheese blitzes and New York City. The crayons are free, with pictures of little pork-faced kids who don T-shirts bearing the words, "I'm cute, so there." on the boxes with a mysterious phone number. Even the mints cast caution to the wayside, declaring with a little bit more than righteous indignation, "Spearmint, thank you.". Excellent Tapioca-rice pudding, blueberry blitzes, Hickory burgers, Chicken Scampi, kosher pickles, olive bars, and Vanilla soda, to give you a shortlist. Fortune sugars and cornstarch-based styrofoam take-out containers(that's right folks, they're edible![they sure taste like the real thing though, in case you're wondering]) also come with the package. Early birds get a fantastic deal: practically free-reign to almost everything the place offers. oh, and the Matzohball soup consists of the delightful chicken broth moat surrounding one, count em one, softball-sized, that's right, genuine matzohball.
This review is giving me an achy head and a grouchy stomach. it must end soon. Go here. it's a diner alright, but it's different. i guess the difference lies in the fact that where other diners DO try, Americana goes the extra yardage and actually succeeds.-- Review by Charles Nam.
The first thing that I noticed on entering the place was its liberal use of Pumpkins as an accesory. There was a giant pumpkin in the foyer, and littler ones at each table. Also, there was a nice counter, jukes at the side booths, godawful rustic paintings on the walls, wood-like wall treatments ("last century brown wood," says Oleg), and, to finish it off, a generous layer of chrome. Since we had a party of five, they insisted on seating us at two adjacent booths, a fate we accepted with composure until when, on our way out, we noticed a party of five crammed into a single table. Actually, given that Oleg was in our group, the accomodations were just perfect.
So we took our seats and took up the menu. It was about four or five pages long, but used a fairly small font. The prices were not bad! You could get a burger for $2.75 or a cheeseburger for $3, plus more advanced items with french-like names for higher prices.
Only two of us, the frenchman and the russian, ordered the soup, Seafood Bisque. Philippe (who really should know about these things) said that the soup was excellent, while Oleg, for reasons unknown to any of us, thought that they would do well not to include seafood in their seafood bisque. Next came the salad course. They were green (and huge) and had dressing on top of them.
On to the main course... mway had an omelette with Feta, which was tasty, but more importantly, a visual delight, homefries ("greasy and brown!"), paradoxically both greasy and dry, and an extra thick vanilla shake, which he seemed to enjoy. Erick had the fried shrimp and french fries in his ongoing all-cholestoral diet. He allowed me to steal one of each, and they were both quite good, dominated almost entirely by the grease in which they were cooked. Later, he got a chocolate shake which he seemed to really enjoy, but not as much as the raw swiss miss chocolate packets which he insists on eating in the dehydrated form. Oleg got the chicken casanova (which the waitress delivered with the warning, "be careful! It's hot! hot! hot!"), which, to make a long story short, was good. I won't even comment on his waiting for cherry jello. I got the seafood salad platter which was uniformly adequate. The cole-slaw gets an overgenerous B-, as it was too vinegary. I also got a corn-muffin, which was waaay too buttery. Philippe got the steak and shrimp special, which he enjoyed, despite the paucity of potato in the side order of potato salad.
Well, this place was more or less what I'd hoped for, namely, dinner. Two final comments. 1) All baking done on premises. 2) They're hiring.
Something must have been in the rain that night as Dave strayed from his usual selection of a corn muffin toasted, no jam, no jelly, and had a blueberry muffin. Dave enjoyed the muffin although he thought it was silly that they gave him grape jelly with it. I to strayed from the norm of French onion soup and had Lima bean soup, it was yummy but had just a few too many Lima beans. Dan had yummy yummy (They really were! ed.) fried mushrooms. Carol went out on a limb and had water after finding out the milkshake machine was broken. The menu was a good diner size. Strange items included Greek Fries(Fries with Feta cheese) and various other foods made Greek by adding Feta cheese. Prices were good and the service was nice enough to leave us alone. Oh and they do serve alcohol.
Their was one aspect of evil on that dark and rainy night in New Jersey...the juke box. I was thrilled, excited, and amazed the juke box claimed to have an Annie Lennox song that i have never heard on it. I took the bait and put in my quarter. After enough time had based that we decided that quarter had gone to a better place, a song began to play.....The Macarena. Evil, fear, and disgust were the feelings we had. Alas the song ended and Annie began her song. Take my advice kids give your quarter to the waitress and skip the box.
I recently got a rather exciting opportunity to visit the Crystal. Matt Reilly, reporter for the Star Ledger, was doing an article on this very page, and we (Charles, my mother, and myself) got to pose for a photo shoot. The place was quite packed when we first arrived, but by the time our photographer had gone through several rolls of film, the booths around us were strangely empty and everyone gave us extremely wide berth.
I went for the standard corn muffin (damn tasty), and had a side-order veggie plate. The cole slaw was quite good (A-), but a bit on the wet side. The rest of the stuff was okay, but the fried zucchini had much better fried than zucchini, and the potato salad had bizarre pieces of things with sharp edges in it. I'm a little confused about how the veggie sampler qualified as a light lunch. It was friggin' huge! Charles had the "Chicken with Spice!" He prefered the spice to the chicken, but all in all, found itquite tasty. If you order something sizable, (as he did) you get free, and very tasty, cinnamon bread. My mom had a tunafish sandwich. It was good-- as good as one can expect. That's about as much detail as she would give me.
In addition to pretty good, the Crystal Diner has some really kitchy extras. For example, the seafood section in the menu is labeled "gifts from the sea." Charles was also deeply moved by the "Business-person's special -- please order by number." Finally, there were the "mini-meals for the smaller appetites, for senior citizens -- or any age!"
Visit their site at http://members.xoom.com/diner -- Review by binky@mail.usa.com.
However not to worry. Upon entering there is the standard rotating glass and mirror refrigerated case co ntaining calorie laden sky high pies, cakes, and other assorted stickies. Additionally located at the cash register are the complementary mints. Broiled filet of some kind of fish on a glass fish shaped plate. Combine these factors with the always open schedule and as far as I'm concerned we got a diner! The place does a good business and attracts a rather "diverse" group of hungry folks. Sunday morning is the after church crowd. Moms and dads and kids in uncomfortable clothes eating giant Belgium waffles with sticky syrup, ice cream and a huge glasses of milk. Weekdays at breakfast is the in and out crowd, trying to cram as much down as fast as possible so they won't be late for work. Lunch time brings out the "business crowd" however on Fridays they are hard to spo t due to "Business Casual" attire. For some reason I seemed to always end up at the Eagle Rock diner on Saturday nights, usually after midnight. As is the case with most diners Saturday night attracts the full range of folks as diverse as the texture of the chicken a la king. The place is packed and stays busy all night long.
From the engineering students who buy one cup of coffee and sit there all night long studying to the chicks from Belleville and Bloomfield with the big hair who are chowing down on enormous chef salads with tons of dressing and diet sodas. As for the food, it really varies however most of the time it is good. I think it depends on who is doi ng the cooking. However if you're really hungry especially late at night it can actually taste quite go od. Standard diner food such as eggs, burgers, and coffee are right up there in the higher numbers most of the time. It's the unique stuff that requires creativity where the highest potential for problems are. Anyone who knows diners knows exactly what I'm talking about so I won't bore you with the details.
I was introduced to the french fries with brown gravy by Dianne Trucksess. We used to be the Wednesday overnight crew for the volunteer first aid squad. She told me that this was the "only" way to eat fries. Another safe standby is the three egg omelet with Feta cheese they seem to do anything with Feta quite well. But most of all it is the convenience that makes this diner what it is. Lets face it most of us go to diners because we are hungry. Not to listen to Barry Manalow belting out "oh Mandy" on a mini stereo jukebox, (that is what's playing in the booth next to me). Cole Slaw: B+.-- Review by John Kaletski.
So, we sat down and took up our menus. They were reasonably long, about four pages double-sided. However, they were written in a fairly large font, so nothing of biblical proportions. The prices were on the expensive side of fair, despite the generous portions (Scott's burger notwithstanding). I ordered the chicken fingers appetizer (perfectly sufficient as a meal), and the Caesar salad (perfectly sufficient as a deciduous forest). Actually, the Caesar dressing was more like essence of Caesar. It's fermenting in my trunk as we speak. I also got an iced tea (not spoilt, thank God), and finished up my meal with a perfectly adequate carrot muffin.
As for Scott: Forced as I was to order on the spot ( I am a city boy and not used to diners, so I was a bit bedazzled by the myriad of choices in front of me), I went with the pizza burger ( a hamburger served with pizza sauce and mozarella cheese), and was a bit disappointed to find out that if I wanted fries and tomatoes I would have to "deluxe" it for an extra $1.50. Hungry as I was, I agreed to this. I feel so used... The burger itself was of the frozen patty variety and was mediocre. The fries were very small, but tasty. (ed: and damn greasy) A surprise cole slaw (B+) and two slightly deformed pickles later made an appearance, which made the $1.50 (but not the burger) a bit easier to swallow. I followed up the meal with a piece of chocolate cream pie, a first for me, which I found to be very good. All in all a decent experience.
Executive Summary (and details we may not have mentioned): First of all, they're hiring. Second, the bathrooms were, well, I would probably be exagerating to say,"exquisite", but certainly understating the case to merely say,"unoppresive." Third, it's a bit too high class (with accompanying high prices) to really be considered a diner, but the prodigious number of bluehairs made it all worthwhile. Scott also wants me to point out that it's feel is somewhat reminiscent of the infamous Moriches Bay Diner. Service was adequate, if unspectacular; the waitress seemed to have problems with basic forms of communication. Finally, the dessert case contains all manner of tasty contraptions. It was the first time in a while that I was tempted by so many things at once.
One of them (Manny) is hot tempered and frequently yells at customers if they don't order properly. The other guy is a gentle soul who diffuses the potentially explosive situations provoked by the first guy. They're both great guys provided you behave.
The food is excellent. Some of my favorites are the short ribs which are moist and tender, and the lamb stew which is just like grandma used to make. Burgers are simple but tasty and the omelettes are standard but consistently so. A best bet if you go there is to ask what's good. Manny will direct you to one of the specials. He hasn't let us down yet! Deserts are not the super giant NJ diner variety. They are modestly sized and old fashioned, like coconut cake or yellow cake with chocholate frosting. They also make their own crullers, which are tasty if you like a lot of sugar and grease. One of the most charming aspects is the nightly drink special listed on the menu. These are usually traditional but slightly exotic cockt ails like the tom collins manhattan. Don't think you're going to get one though; nobody there knows what goes into these high falootin' drinks. Decor is very pleasant and cozy, except during the wee hours on weekends, when the drunks start pouring out of the Holland Tunnel and need a little sustenance.
My one negative comment: The bathroom is gross, there's one unisex room, the focal point of which is a gastly pink urinal cake. I've never actually used the bathroom, because every time I've tried I've walked in on a man in checkered cooks pants taking a leak. Other than that, I love the Flamingo, a first class diner/restaurant! -- Review by Danielle Barry
In the local papers the Glenwood diner has been advertising that they are celebrating their "10th anniversary". It must be the tenth anniversary for these owners because the diner has been there way longer than 10 years (though perhaps it is the 10th anniversary of the couple buying the diner, ed.). Although the place is not the typical sleek chrome and marble just-renovated-in-the-last-three-years diner that is becoming typical in NJ it offers something that many of these "typical" diners don't, --> a soup to nuts meal (presumably just a figure of speech, ed.) for under 7 bucks. In all honesty where are you gonna get a complete supper including beverage and desert at this price? Is this the way to start out a long evening of working on the railroad or what?
At breakfast time commuters are buying coffee and other various "takeouts" before running to catch the train to Hoboken. Lunch is busy, lots of business people sucking down turkey clubs, burgers, and other assorted sandwiches. Dinner is the specials I described above. Lots of "comfort foods". The kind of stuff that I never ate much of when mom made it. But now when I can't get it I want it. Meatloaf, chicken whatever, liver and onions, roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans, pudding, pie, chicken soup, the list is endless. Dear old dad and I hit this place once in a while for lunch. There are two requirements any diner must have if he is going to eat there: 1. The diner must have eggs over and homefries, (that's all he eats at diners!). 2. It must have a ramp, (he rides one of those self propelled scooters). According to him the eggs and homefries are "good". But he says that about most of the eggs and homefries that he eats.
The management tends to be very accomodating to any special requests and will modify just about anything to suit one's tastes, special diet etc. They truly go out of their way in this area. Lots of diners don't know what a special request is. Places like Boston Chicken or Boston Market or Boston Whatever or Kenney Rodgers Roasters, have made an empire out of creating their version of "home cooked meals". Yea right! Go to a place like the Glenwood diner and get the real thing. Not the chain resturant version of the stuff grandma used to make! Cole Slaw: B+. (Good lord, what a review!-ed.)-- Review by John Kaletski.
Living in West Orange I got my fill of the place while doing overnights on the first aid squad. Lets face it, after being vomited on, bleed on, or urinated on what could be better than eggs over with a side of hash browns? I never tried anything other than the "breakfast type stuff", mainly eggs or "egg like" selections. I can honestly say I never had a bad meal at the place. In fact the food was not bad at all. Hey it's gotta be pretty good because often times the cops were in there eating! WARNING!!! I think the pies are those "Rittenhouse" brand commercial bakery things that you can get at Price Club or Shoprite for $2.49. At least the custard pie was. Stick with the puddings. After how much dammage could anyone do the chocolate pudding? As for the coffee It ain't as good as dunkin donuts coffee but it comes in a close second. As for the cole slaw, I wouldn't dare have that with eggs, at least not after midnight! -- Review by John Kaletski. (Now this is a superlative example of diner reviewery!)
Well, we sat down at the booth, and there was no jukebox (there was an ashtray, however, suggesting that it's one of those all-smoking deals). The menu was fairly lengthy, and moreover, pretty damn cheap. We soon learned that the portions were in rough proportion to the price, and Aaron found himself needing to supplement his deluxe sized california burger (sans avacado) with jalapeno poppers. For my own part, I found the 4 bean soup somewhat bland and desperately in need of salt. The chicken fingers, were lonely. They did not comprise a full hand's worth. Rich got breakfast for dinner, and despite only expecting breakfast link sausage, he got big think 'uns. According to Aaron,"It tastes like breakfast sausage-- but big!" I took notes on a placemat, which had some deeply disturbing childrens' games, including the connect the dots which didn't at all resemble a mushroom, an unsolvable maze, and a word game with answers like "spine" and "harbinger".
One real bright spot was the service. Our waitress was a real pro, and as I remarked to the boys as we were leaving, I think she was way too good for this place. I think she really won my heart when she gave us the big pitcher of water and the complementary rolls (to help with my soup!)
As for the food: The onion rings, of which Nicole got a small sampling, were crispy and delicious. The fried zucchini sticks were also crispy and delicious, and remarkably similar to the onion rings. The sauce, however, left something to be desired. My french onion soup was good, although the cheese (Mozarella, not provolone) seemed to have been melted on top posthumously. The cole slaw was not particularly good. I'm being generous in giving it a B-. My chicken souvlaki, however, was terrific. Nicole had the tuna salad, and she liked it fine. The corn muffin was decent, and according to Nicole "The coffee started out pretty good, but somewhere in the middle, it just wasn't!"
We found the place to be incredibly clean, the service was fast and friendly (the girls were great, real pros), the kitchen is open (and looked very clean) so we could see the cook preparing our food, and the atmosphere is cheery. The place is decorated in a fifty's motif (tastefully so) and had a very relaxed and comfortable atmosphere. I also want to mention the prices, more reasonable ones you will not find. Though their menu is not as large as the bible like other diners, they have a great selection of daily blackboard and menu specials.
We live near the shore so we can't get here as often as we'd like, but we do make it down here 2-3 times a week. We finally found a great place to eat at a price we can afford.
P.S. The bathrooms are spic-n-span (one of my pet peeves).-- Review by ezd
The decor was unusually gaudy, even for a diner, from the ceiling fans to the dozens upon dozens of fake plants. Janima, however, kind of liked the lamps. The counter was kind of disjointed. Though there was a pastry case, it was nowhere near the counter. Also, as Janima pointed out, the place may have been a chinese menu, given the presence of a giant chinese mural. Finally, the whole place, situated within a mall parking lot, with a bizarre geometry, gave me the heebie-jeebies. The impression was that it is "sort of a diner, but with half the hours and twice the size."
After this setup, I was rather surprised to notice that the menu was actually reasonably extensive. It was about 5 pages double-sided, and made the rather audacious claim that they serve the "world's greatest pancakes."
The coffee was apparently tasty, but a bit on the cool side. The waitress was more than happy to warm up Charles' cup o' joe. Janima was disappointed that the hot sauce was not Tabasco brand, and that pissed her off to no end. My fried shrimp and onion ring platter was okay, but basically the same colour and same flavor. Charles ordered the fried chicken, and it was crispy, and hence, good. Janima wants everyone to know that the salad was chopped up into appropriately small bit-szed, pieces, and hence, it was good. Oh, and my platter came with cole slaw. B- on my scale, B+ on Charles.
A final note: Hours later, the fried shrimp was still with me. Be good to yourselves, and each other.
According to Rex Barron, this place used to be named Kirk's Diner, after the diner's original owners.
Manetas Redux: Wes, Antonio, Erick, and I headed out one balmy summer evening, after a failed excursion to the now abandoned Oliver's Diner. Due to poor transcription skills on my part, we passed it a couple of times, but eventually, we found our way. First, I must comment on the decor. It's pleasantly diner-esque with silvers and pinks as far as the eye can see. In addition, it's bedecked with all the amenities, such as a counter, jukes at the tables, big giant mirrors, a virtually unlabeled men's room, and a sign out front proudly proclaiming their delivery service. We wondered, in passing, whether they would go all the way out to Princeton, but, with attention spans as short as ours, soon forgot the matter.
We were struck to see how empty the place was. After all, we went there around 7 in the evening. Still, despite the initial sense of dread, we were pleasantly surprised by the girth of the menu (a healthy 6 pages), and the minuteness of the prices (okay, they weren't that minute, but $3 for a cheeseburger is nothing to scoff at). This was compounded further when we saw the portions. Most meals come with soup, salad, and a veggie, and are tremendous in size. Wes was heard to exclaim,"This is the most ham I have ever seen!" (Wes had ordered the ham).
For my own part, I had the veggie platter, which included mashed potatoes and toast (tasty!), a salad (decent, but they didn't have honey-mustard dressing), and four veggies of my choice. I went for the slaw (magnifique! An 'A'), the potato salad (which was oddly pink), the rice and spinach at the insistance of the waitress (which was grim and forboding -- the rice, that is), and the pasta salad (which was okay, but not permeating). Wes was pleased by the flavour of the coffee, suggesting that it was "better than Peyton Hall coffee time coffee" (i.e. acceptable). Antonio enjoyed his veal, but found the pasta to be plain. Erick, well, I'm not sure that one should take culinary criticism from Erick. His major point on his salad was that he likes bleu cheese dressing without chunks of bleu cheese (indeed, there weren't any). He also got the fettucini Alfredo, which he enjoyed, despite denying the fact that it was actually Alfredo.
Most of us (save for Antonio) got dessert. I got an enormous chocolate, peanut-butter sunday which was honestly more than I deserved. Wes got some Chocolate, peanut-butter ice cream, and was disturbed to notice that it was served in a steel bowl. He was also a little upset by the initial anisotropy (as observed from the local universe of his eyeball) of the distribution of peanut-butter in the chocolate matrix. Erick got the milkshake. Apparently, he was weened on pre-packaged culture, television, and video games, since he was wholly unaware that the big steel cup next to his shake contained more milkshake. He complained,"This is all I get!" The other strange thing was the prices of ice cream were strangely disproportionate with the prices of the entrees (i.e. higher), but Wes got his for free with his meal.
When we were finished, we decided to interview some of the patrons. Problem was, the pickin's were pretty slim. We were about to go for the bowling ladies nearby, but they abruptly left. We were also thinking about talking to the cop up front, but we decided not to risk it. I wanted to talk to the waitress, but thought better of it, when I realized what contempt she obviously had for me. We therefore opted for a group of 7 year old girls who seemed only marginally threating. When asked whether they were enjoying their ice cream, they responded, I don't know." However, when Wes rephrased the question, they admitted that it was better than the ice cream they get at school.
11/9/97: Not that I would say that Nicole's review was incomplete. Indeed, everything that she said about the place was true. The place is impressive, they give you very tasty bread, and the rooms (all of them) are tres classy. However, what she didn't really warn me about was the shear enormity of the place. Wes Colley, PhD, Philippe, and I, headed down to Mastoris to celebrate the W.N. Colley band reuinion tour, and when we first arrived, we couldn't believe our eyes. It was huge, had columns, and seemed to sit, angrily, occupying what seemed to me to be acres of real estate. It had catering trucks sitting outside, ready to speed pies and cakes to your door, at presumably a moments notice. I couldn't tell whether it was a diner or a theme park (and, indeed, I was troubled by that fact -- At what point is a diner simply too big?) But what was more amazing than the girth of the place was the fact that there was a wait of about ten minutes on a Sunday night!
So, while we waited for our table, we looked around a bit. The array of cakes, pastries, and, chinaware (in a display up front) were dizzying. The place seemed to be divided into four major quadrants. First, there was the main entrance way (with bakery counter, hostess station at which they astoundingly accept reservations). Directly across from that was the place labeled, "The Diner", which had a real diner feel to it. To the right (as you come in) was the Mastor Lounge (the bar), and to the left was the "Lexington Room" (which seemed much more upscale). These were further divided into subsections. We were seated in the Terrace subsection of the Diner room. It had lovely plant-like wallpaper.
The menu was a scant 3 pages, but by utilizing Astrophysical Journal (tm) type font, they manage to squeeze in an incredible number of items. To wit: I ordered the last sandwich on the menu, #77 the Garden Grill. Wes and I were both disturbed by the presence of Wine specials on the menu (see comments on Dorian's). As for the prices, the specials, and especially the "Very Special Selections" are really friggin' expensive. We found items for as high as $34.95! (the Alaskan King Crab Legs). However, for the most part, things were somewhat chepaer, though still on the pricy side (by diner standards). Burgers, for example, were about $6.
On to the food... As Nicole rightly pointed out, they give you absolutely fabulous bread (at which Philippe, the consummate Frenchman, directed his unmitigated scorn). The portions were large (though at a per pound rate, not a terribly good bargain). My ice tea was tasty, and refilled, complimentary. Both Philippe and Wes got the French Onion Soup. The consensus was that it was merely adequate, however, Wes was amazed by how colorfully brown the soup was (VanDyke Brown, if I remember my Joy of Painting colour palette).
The first thing that I tasted in my main course, was the cole slaw. I am pleased to say that it was an unabashed "A" (which Wes can confirm). My Veggie Sandwich (Portabella, mozarella, sundried tomatoes, red peppers) was tasty, but regrettibly so liquid-packed, that I had to eat the second half with a knife and fork. The creamed spinach (which the waitress obligingly brought in lieu of the fries that normally come with sandwiches) was viscous, although essentially pretty decent. Wes had a slightly less productive meal. First, they did not automatically bring him ketchup with his fries. When he finally got ketchup he declared them "pretty good". Second, his Roast Beef and Grilled Onion sandwich was cold, apparently intentionally so; a presentation which left him somewhat startled and scared. It eventually grew on him somewhat, though the portions were so big that he was forced to take some of it home. Philippe found his potatoes dry despite being soaked in gravy, his leg of Lamb (un-cloned) tasty, and the spinach somewhat stringy. When we finished our food, the waitress gave us a box for Wes's sandwich remains, as well as the remaining loaf of cinnamon bread.
So after dinner, we found the family (or was it a couple of families?) at the neighboring table had taken an interest in our work. We spoke to them, and their responses were uniformly, um, enthusiastic. However, what I found astounding was that the items of which parents partook were a bit fancier than normal diner fare. "It's like being at a fine restaurant," said our liason, who never gave her name. Elaine, who Wes admitted to finding quite fetching, had the Rigatoni.--"Tremendous, tremendous, serving size." Paul had the chicken Alex -- "It was excellent." It was the kids who really made the discussion worth while. Lindsay, (I believe her name was), the approximately 12-14 year old,told us the following:"I had chicken Parmesan. It was very good. It was very big. It was more than you can finish." Her sister (I believe, the details are somewhat sketchy) had the same thing. She also had a birthday! She's 9!
Philippe and Wes would summarize the diner in this way: If Mastoris and Crystal were the same distance from us, we'd go to Crystal for a couple of reasons: a) price b) hassle. There's something of that Disney World hassle to the place. Crystal: go in, sit down, eat. I like seeing the whole diner at once. I didn't like the different rooms into all of which I could not see.
In the end, I don't know whether or not architecturally this place is really a diner, but the fact remains that the diner spirit permeates it like the smell in Otto's jacket. I recommend going at least once. Find out what corn pudding is; I did.
6/19/98: As a rather delayed post-generals celebration, I returned to Mastoris with Neil D. Tyson (professor of astrophysics at Princeton, and director of the Hayden Planetarium at the museum of Natural History in New York), Erick, Arielle, Blanton, Li-Xin Li, and another professor who shall (by request) remain nameless. We choose this particular place, because, as the final question in my general exam, I was asked, "What is the best diner in central New Jersey?" Having only seconds to respond, I answered,"Mastoris."
Anyway, when we finally got there, we were starved, and, despite the enormity of the place, and the fact that it was two in the afternoon, we still needed to wait a bit for a table for 7 to open up. When it finally did, we were seated in the open hostility section, and our waitress seemed angry at our very existence, or, at least, that was how we perceived it since she gave us our fries in an almost passive-agressive manner.
The comments about the food, the decor, prices, etc. can be ignored here. All I can say is that all of that is consistent with the last visit. I will, however, mention a few impressions from the others.
The unnamed professor said that he would return here again.
Erick just wanted to mention that none of us got any work done.
The Diner can best be described as consistent. Every aspect of the diner: the food, the air conditioning, the service, seem to be set just so, and nothing, not even God, himself could alter the way they do things (this was later confirmed by our locals). When we first entered, I was struck by how the Middlesex had the perfect look and feel of a diner, with a long counter, pastry cases throughout, busteling, grizzled waitresses, etc. For my part, I'd almost forgiven the difficulty in getting there. But as we sat and waited, reading, and re-reading the menu (which, in its defense was fairly extensive, with deceptively low prices -- I say that because though the prices look moderately high, they tend to include drinks, appetizers, deserts, etc.) we got angry and felt neglected. Eventually, our waitress appeared, a woman who had apparently been at this for a looong time (she was affectionately referred to by the locals as "Grandma Moses"). She took our drink orders, gave Erick an Iced tea rather than a coke, and when corrected, she set the drink off to the side. Later, when my tea was almost done, she offered the cast off tea to me.
We then ordered our food, and found that most meals came with the salad bar (which was good, if small), and the bread bar, which requires a word of warning: Do not, under any circumstances, get the French bread, as they were undoubtedly baked when France was still a monarchy. The spinach bread and the corn bread were pretty decent though. We also got our soup pretty quickly, and though Wes loved his chicken noodle, my Manhatten clam chowder left a lot to be desired (Oleg liked it, however).
Then we waited... And as we waited, we noticed that the place was unbearably cold. I mean, what were these people thinking?! When our food finally did arrive (by which point, Erick and Antonio had gone through 8 jelly packets between them), we found that it was, in general, tasty, but found something very odd. First, everything had a uniform level of greasiness, and un-fried-ness. It's almost as if that dipped their fries, onion rings, chicken fingers, etc., in the big tub of greases, but forgot to turn it up to "cook". So everything was kind of greasy and none to crisp. BTW, I should also note that the cole slaw (which was not deep fat fried) rates an unenthusiastic B- from me and a C from Antonio. The other thing that we found odd was that the foods all seemed to contain the essences of all the other foods. Wes was convinced, for example, that his cajun chicken was really the same as my chicken fingers, but with a brown gravy-like sauce. Antonio and Erick seemed to enjoy their burgers, and Oleg ordred the chicken liver, which is too gross to be of any interest to anyone. Oh, and while I'm at it, I should mention that the portions are enormous! (admittedly, the first unambiguously good thing I've said about the diner yet.)
After our meal (and after our experiment, in which we timed how long it took after we ran out of water before anyone came to refill it: 10:45), we ordered dessert, and Wes, Oleg, and I found a group of college kids, chosen primarily on the basis of the girls being cute (if our subjects are reading this, by the way, my compliments!), to interview. Louis, Kate, and Tracy confirmed our suspicions about the diner. First, they told us it was open 24-7 (which was not obvious elsewhere). The also told us that the serivce was always like this, but yet somehow, they always found themselves coming back. Apparently, the diner, itself, has not really changed in the 5 years thay've been coming there, except for a renovation in the exceptionally posh non-smoking section about 3 years ago. It was around then, they explained, that they last changed the bread. Apparently, despite the fact that the diner was kind of dead that night, it's usually jumping with high school kids. I also asked one of them about her egg sandwich, and she gave me a bizarre and ambiguous response about getting chips. This prompted the discussion that the side-items actually listed in the menu seem only to be a suggestion to the waitstaff. They finally pointed out "That guy who just came in, the guy with the mustache..." he's apparently the usual host, and he's also apparently pretty rude. We finally left our locals, content with our initial feelings about the Middlesex.
We finished by eating our deserts, and while they were all tasty, we all especially enjoyed Antonio's strawberry cheesecake. Oh, and in closing, Erick did get mayonaise (but not with his dessert) after only one request.
I should also point out that Cynthia and I had something of a brawl over what the appropriate form of a diner ought to be. She refers to this ideal as "Marge." There's apparently some mythology surrounding it, which I don't quite get. She put together sentences like,"Diners have booths and counter." She thought that the whole place needed to be greasier, the waitstaff needed to be older and uglier, and the food needed to be cheaper. Well, as far as point 1 goes, I have to heartily disagree. The hallmark of a good diner ought to be good food cheap. Which brings us to point 3 (a disorganized presentation, I understand, but i leave it as an exercise to the reader to sort it all out). Okay, she may be right about this. As for the demand that anyone ought to be older and uglier, well, I just can't abide by a statement like that. To all of you senior beauties out there, I say, "Vive le difference!"
Back to the diner, itself, the beer was on the pricy side: $3.25. My iced tea was a bit rank, but I didn't bother returning it. Charles got the Munchy plate. It was pretty good, and all fried! Steve had the unfortuneate experience of sipping into orange colored water, which was promptly replaced by orange juice by the waitress. My Caesar salad did not have Caesar dressing on it for some unknown reason, but rather Italian (which, for all you fans of Geography may be of scant concern, but to a Gourmand such as myself, what a difference a few kilometers make!). Steve and Cynthia both had omelettes which they enjoyed immensely.
Does the New Palace Diner really inspire such passions? I'd have to say,"No. We brought our passions with us." This place is okay, but not really a class act. Finally, I should point out that it is open 24 hours, a quality which I think Cynthia would claim is necessary but not sufficient to classify it as a true diner.
I picked up the menu, and nearly threw out my shoulder. Well, it's not as much as all that, but at 6 or so double-sided pages, you can pretty much get anything you could possibly desire. The prices are decent, and the lunch specials included all the fixin's for about 6 bucks. I ordered the chicken finger sandwich and an iced tea. The sandwich was actually quite good, and the was startlingly not noteworthy. My meal also came with a cup of the Yankee Bean. It was quite tasty, but not memorably so. I also got cole slaw with my meal, which I rate a B+ (due only to it's high mayonaise content), and reasonably decent fries. After my meal, I got a list of lunch special applicable deserts, including a bunch of puddings (I went with the rice, which was tasty and textured!) jello, and the like.
In the end, I can't condemn this place. It was a perfectly pleasant diner experience. However, I would also advise against getting too attached. For my money, I'd head on over to the nearby "Time to Eat" diner.
Amy McCaskey was also good enough to review this place. She says: A small diner located directly across the street from Jeff the Printer(which is owned by Mr.andMrs. Glazer). Those who like the traditional look to a diner will appreciate the run down look to the Parkside. The service is very good, especially when you consider that the place is inundated with Trenton State College. Food highlights include a yummy french onion soup, french fries with gravy and cheese, and a interesting Chick-O-Philly. Oh yeah the most important point.....Cheap!
Dave's take: Not realizing that I had already printed a review, I headed out to Pat's diner with Becca and Mike. I should print some supplementary information. First, it is open 24 hours. Mike was noting that there were punctuation problems in "Pat's patter", the diner newsletter. The entrees, while tasty, were somewhat eclectic. Many cheesecake flavors, and the cherry, at least, was springy and delicious. A- cole slaw, salty green pickles, and yummy (incredibly) greasy fries. Mike was impressed the 50's era aqua color scheme. The corn muffin had a slightly lemony flavor, but it really worked. Two final notes from Becca: 1. The waitress was kind of pissed (see Jerry's take) about life, no "would you like coffee with that, hon" even remotely threatened to come out of her mouth. 2. Good food, good choice. It was kismet but we didn't find 206.
That bit was by Charles, but this here is Dave and I have to make a few editorial comments, having just visited the Princetonian myself. First, the prices are actually high by diner standards (though modest by Princeton standards). Secondly, the turkey salad was terrific, but the pickles were terrible (even according to Carol, who is remarkably more charitable about these things than me). Third, I really liked the Cole Slaw, giving it an A-. The bread was yellow, but stale, and the lentil soup (only $1.35 for a big ol' bowl) was fantastic. Me rikey lentil soup! Oh, and for some reason, the place is freezing.
I read a prior review from a young man, which hosed the diner. I visited there last week, on a Friday at dinner hour. They have seafood specials on Fridays. I had a trout stuffed with crabmeat and shrimp. It was excellent. The salad was generous and fresh. The service and speed were very good and the atmosphere was pleasant. My guest had a flounder that was huge. I'd grade the diner as a B+, from a 40 year old perspective.--Addition by jcarnsto.
An editorial note: I was originally mistakenly informed that this was the "Royal Cliffs Diner", and not the "Royal Cliffs Restaurant." I'm putting my faith in Liz that she knows the difference between the two, but I may put it to the test at some point in the future.
Dave's observations: Well, Nicole took me to the Sage Diner on my last visit to her place in Cherry Hill. One of the first things that I noticed was that, for a diner, the prices were somewhat steep. A great many of the items on the menu (in fact, I dare say the majority of them) were priced in the double digits. However, in some sense, it is a true diner. The main (i.e. smoking) section of the diner, really looks the part. Also, it's open 24-7, so that's a bonus. The non-smoking area is huge, and, when we went there (around dinner time) well packed. Our waitress was pleasant and efficient, and had an accent of indeterminate origin (what's more, her knowledge of breads was considerable).
As for the food, the selection was fairly standard diner fare. The sandwiches, which were pretty good, have the rather unpleasant problem that they automatically come with cole slaw and french fries (with the clubs, only the slaw). The problem is that the prices for sandwiches are set accordingly. Oh, and they don't have marble rye (thanks to Nicole for providing me with the name of that type of bread). The pickle that comes with the meal is one of those god-awful half-dill types, and the cole slaw had some strange aftertaste; I give it only a B-. The fries, while somewhat excessively greasy, were very tasty. To end on a positive note: The desert case is filled with delicious looking treats which are, in turn, served in titanic proportions. Nicole and I had a piece of chocolate fudge cake, and I found it magnificent!
What makes this diner so unique is that it looks exactly the same as the day it opened. In fact most of the appliances and other equipment are circa opening day also. While most diners have built kitchens that are behind closed doors patrons at the Short Stop get to see everything being created up close and personal. For better or worse. No closed kitchen here. The place really is a throw back to the past. The sign atop the diner advertises "hamburgers, eggs in the skillet". They ain't lying. All egg dishes except omelettes are served in the frying pan they are cooked in. I guess it saves on dishwashing costs. During the day especially during the morning the traffic in and out of the joint is brisk. The atmosphere at times is frenzied. Just like a classic diner ought to be. For those non smokers out there the only smoke free area at the short stop is located outside in the parking lot.
Inside there are only about 15 or so stools, most of which are at the front counter. Sitting down with a newspaper, slowly, sipping a cup of coffee is not advised. This is the kind of place to eat and run. During the day usually three counter men/women, (counterpersons --> poltically correct term), man (person? -- ed.) the fort. Just watching them perform is a study in diner science. The person on the left is on the grill only. The middle guy handles toast, sandwiches and coffee, and the person on the right is on coffee, soda, and dishes. The operation is flawless. In the department of food; the menu consists of eggs, sandwiches, hamburgers, baked goods,(baked off premises). The eggs are always hot, simply because the grill is within 5 feet of the counter, additionally they are served in the skillet. The cheese omelettes are quite good. Even the corn muffins while not home made are grilled before your eyes and make the grade. The only problem happens with the most expensive item on the menu, "steak and eggs". The eggs are not the problem, it's the steak. Chopped steak to be exact. Where they got the term "steak" from is anyone's guess. I think it is more fat than beef, lots more fat, a whole lot. As for the prices, not bad. It will cost you one half of what fancier diners charge for the same food. Additionally the service is very fast. But the coleslaw, not made on site! Thus it dependent upon who they get it from. -- Review by John Kaletski (in his usual fastidious manner)
The Time to Eat offers all of the usual amenities: a coat closet, 24 hour service, etc., has a fairly extensive menu with all of the old standards, including a children's menu with blatant Winnie the Pooh copyright infringement, including one item, curiously name the "Pillet" (sic.) which was inexplicably a hot dog. My lentil soup was good, but Amy, in a fit of Jewish fervor ordered the Matzoh ball soup, a decision she later regretted. Dan liked (or would have liked, had he remembered that he hated eggplant), his Mousaka, and loved his Greek salad. The hot chocolate is apparently quite good. One final note: The waitresses are quite friendly, but will apparently mock you behind your back, not unlike those popular kids in middle school. Indeed, our waitress (shortly before giving us patently incorrect directions on how to get home -- surely another insight into her hidden evil) was heard to incessantly berate some prior customer.
The place has ample parking on the outside, and ample seating on the inside. Despite that, they didn't have ample soup selections, and what soups they did have were cream and/or meat based. The menu was on the pricy side. The "jumbo burger" was a whopping $4.50, but included fries. Actually, this seemed to be a recurring theme. The prices were high, but this was undoubtedly due to the fact that almost all of the dishes came with mandatory side dishes (eg the $5 grilled cheese with cole slaw and potato salad -- What if I just want the damn sandwich?!).
The beverages: Arielle got poison instead of ginger ale. In a rare instance of controntation, we persuaded her to return it. Apparently, she has some sort of policy against returning anything. Mike's shake, on the other hand, was apparently delicious.
Service with a smile is apparently not their motto. I think she was on to the fact the we were reviewing the place, and I'm pretty sure that she did not approve. She scowled at us constantly. In fact, now that I think of it, perhaps she was the one who replaced Arielle's soda with death.
We got both cheese and cinamon bread while we waited. They were delicious. The fries were crunchy and delicious and full of flavor. The cole slaw was terrible. I give it a D. It tasted almost exactly like evil. The potato salad was bizarre and had shallots or scallions in it. My turkey salad, on the other hand, was delicious. Erick had the steak. He seemed to enjoy it, but, as always, I scolded him, and he refused to discuss it.
I opted to sit at the counter (which I almost never do, but I was travelling alone, so why not?), and I watched as the short-order cook masterfully whipped up eggs, fried foods, and, most importantly to me, my grilled cheese sandwich. I also got a chance to look around the place. The decor inside was classic diner, including jukeboxes at the tables, and repeated warnings that the bathrooms were for diner patrons only. The menu was fairly extensive, and, for the most part, reasonably priced. A burger, for example, would run you $2.05, but that does not include fries or anything. This is one of those places which sees a burger with fries as a "burger deluxe". I had a grilled cheese, which, let's face it, is kind of hard to screw up, cream of turkey soup (not bad), and some rice pudding (smooth and creamy). That, plus a drink, ran me about $7, which for an old diner at the side of the highway, is a bit steep for my tastes.
The diner staff was quite friendly, but I found myself gesturing my answers to their questions, such as "Coffee?" -- "No" (and I shook my head vigorously). One final note: apparently Rich Radke's grandfather was once the cook at the tunnel diner. Remarkable, no?
This diner is easily missed. Even though it is located on Main Street the long axis sits at a rignt angle to the street, thus many potential diner goers have driven right by. No matter when you go in the place is never crowded. However there is always someone inside. Built sometime during the 1950's all of the original chrome is still in place. Upon entering the terra-cotta floor has the letters "T C D" inscribed. Previously the dinner was called the "Tory Corner Diner", (this part of West Orange is called Tory Corner). Recent renovations include new formica and upholstery booths, and the addition of blue and red neon light strips over the counter, DUDE! The cover of the menu proudly proclaims "WEST ORANGE DINER Home of Thomas A. Edison". Somehow I don't think Edison ever slept there! While consuming a gyro A major problem occured with the table top juke box at the counter when a patron tried to make a Def Leopard selection and instead was treated to "Happy Birthday" by Eddy Howard. The guy became enraged after he plunked down 75 cents into the juke box and kept getting the same "Happy Birthday" song over and over and over and over ...
As for the patrons. Since the Main Street area of West Orange has no less than 15 bars the diner tends to be frequented by many of the upstanding folks who keep the bars in business. After all that drinking the munchies tend to get quite intense. During my last visit a guy who had been hanging out at the counter tried to sell me sunglasses. Prices ranged from $5.00 to $13.99. And they are supposed to be "better than those "Ray BRANDS"".
The food tends to be the typical diner fare. Nothing fancy here. Fresh fish, organic meats, exotic sal ad greens and tofu are absent from the menu. Fried foods, burgers, gyro, meat loaf, eggs, homefries, ... is the stuff you are gonna get. However one positive note is that the baking is done on site. Actually the brownies are pretty good. As for the coleslaw you'll have to ask one of the upstanding menbers of the community who are spending the evening in the local jail. The cops get the "prisoner meals" from this average diner. Although I would venture to guess that the c ole slaw is, you guessed it --> AVERAGE.-- Another marvelous review by John Kaletski
The inside of the diner is no less, well, diner-like. From the formica tables, to the jukeboxes, to the multi-colored speckled tiles behind the counter, this has a feel of a good-old-fashioned diner. The menu wasn't that large, but it was written in a small font. The jukeboxes have a "service" button, which will cause a light to summon a waitress. Both Charles and I found the whole ordeal vaguely disturbing. There are not only many taste treats, but also exemplary grammar. The prices looked okay, perhaps slightly better than most. The also have a catering menu, and make the claim that they excel in catering.
I ordered Yankee bean soup, a corn muffin, and cole slaw. The bean soup was absolutely tremendous. Our waitress brought us some poppy seed rolls, which I didn't think would work with the soup, but by gum, it did. The corn muffin was tasty, but rather more yellow than I'm accustomed to. I liked the cole slaw (A-), but Charles, stricter judge than me, gave it,"A solid B". Charles ordered the New York burger, which had provolone, russian dressing, and kraut. Apparently, it was delicious, but a wee bit too much for him to finish.
All in all, we liked the diner, but have a few points of constructive criticism. While the pastries looked good, the pastry case detracted somewhat, and the presentation of the delectables suffered. Also, a bit more for us herbavores would be appreciated. However, that aside, for a laid back atmosphere, and some big friggin' burgers, this is your place.
Additional Note by one of our alert readers: Got there at after 11PM on a Saturday and was treated to good-sprited, w ise-cracking service and excellent food and fine coffee. The late night breakfast was great. I had a Greek omlette which contained potatoes, sausage, peppers, onions and feta cheese. Other diners had good things to say about the pancakes and corned beef hash topped with poached eggs (don't blame me, I didn't order it). I saw the other review, but figure that more info is better. -- Contribution by Bob Cohen
We went inside and found the interior to be even more diner-like (if such a thing is possible) than the exterior. There are big piles of chrmoe everywhere you care to look, pastry cases behind the counter, ceiling fans, and a color scheme which can't be beat! However, there was one problem; no jukeboxes. Brian also seemed strangely excited by the fact that they had a sugar shaker rather than packets. The music seemed to be pumped in from on high. Well, we sat down at our spacious booth, and picked up the menu. It was actually longer than we first suspected. While it is technically only two pages long (double sided) it also contains a number of foldovers, inserts, etc. (as with transformers, they're "more than meet the eye"), in addition to the "power dinner menu" display on the table. We would also like to point out a disturbing fact before we go on. In the lower panel of the front page read the words,"We reserve to seat our Patrons" (in all capitalized, italicized letters). Question: by the time you have a menu, isn't it already too late?
The prices were reasonably good. You could get a burger for $2.95, a sirloin steak for $16.95!, 2 eggs any style (with the standard sides) $2.95, coffee $0.70 (with refills). As you can see, the prices really run the gamut. The hours are 5-1 during the week, and 5-4 during the weekend.
I ordered a swiss cheese sandwich, split pea soup (which they claimed contained no ham), and a side of mashed potatoes. Brian ordered a pizza burger. While we were ordering, however, I got the distinct impression that the waitress was opposed to the concept of... me. She seemed to be merely humoring us when she was taking our order. Later, when Brian's coffee needed refilling, she glanced at the mug contemptuously, only vaguely aware of its existence (or indeed, of ours).
The food: the first thing that we got was Brian's coffee, which he found mediocre, but which he further found necessary to try to justify. My split-pea soup was amazing, but I managed to exert enough self-control to save some of the soup until my sandwich came. And it's a good thing I did! The swiss cheese sandwich with the split-pea soup is probably the best combination of foods that I've had in many years (it is vitally important that you remove the lettuce from the sandiwch first). Brian was less pleased with his burger. He found the tensile strength of the cheese to be too great to overcome. Brian (and you know him!) choose not to finish his burger. Also, my side order of mashed potatoes was not, umm... real, or umm... good. Further on the potato front, Brian got some mediocre fries, with which, for some reason, the waitress needed to ask him if he needed ketchup. We both got sides of cole slaw with our meals. I gave it an A-, while Brian gave it a B+.
As for dessert, Brian had the chocolate cream pie, and I got the carrot cake. Both were excellent.
In the end, food-wise, this place is a mixed bag. The overall experience is quite pleasant, but the diner-goer must be extremely savvy in order to get exactly the right things.